But my personality, me, who I am, falls in love with girls constantly, and it makes me a lot more nervous thinking about where a simple friendship might lead to in my daily life. Should things escalate to where me and a girl friend of mine were in a bedroom setting I would be sexually impedent, as a man that's really embarassing. And as a person, to not be able to make love... it's a depressing thought. I've never been able to cum while having sex. And the last couple times it was hard to become erect and stay erect. But those times were with girls I didn't really love. The first time I had sex was amazing. But I didn't finish because I didn't want to hurt her. But I knew I could cum. It was many years after that, until I had sex again. And it just wasn't like it was when I first had sex, when I had sex with someone I cared about. Though I thought I could really care about this person. The sad thing is that this outlook on love and sex is feminine in itself. The masculine sexuality. " Numbly I fixed her a Scotch and soda.She came into the living room and taking me by the hand, drew me into the bedroom.When I saw the whips, long and lethal-looking, neatly arranged on the bed, I cried out, tried to run.But before I reached the door she had grabbed me by my hair. She threw me on the bed, and with one knee on my back she pinned me down."Don't fight me. I'm going to give your man my report tonight.And you don't want whipping when he gets home, do you?" There was steel in her voice this time.While I struggled, she tied my hands to the bed posts and stuffed a scarf up my mouth.I heard a snap, and then the whistle of something cut through the air. My body tensed.Her cool hand unzipped the crotch of my teddy and pushed it above my waist."Don't fight it, honey, she said softly"You're going to get twenty and another five for trying to run away."Then a stinging lash seared my behind. I tried desperately to avoid the blows.But every stroke landed exactly below the one.
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