Just before the service started I remembered something I meant to chatwith Anna about. "Anna I know that you're not confirmed. I meant to talk with you earlierabout this but you can still go up for blessing." I'd feel funny doing that," she replied. "What would the vicar think?" Dad didn't get confirmed until he was in his late twenties," I stated."Also I heard that vicars feel it is an honour. By going and asking fora blessing you are personally asking the vicar to act as a conduit." But what will everyone else say?" This is about your relationship with Jesus not anybody else's. If yougo to the communion rail or not is up to you. Just remember there are alot of non regulars here tonight and not all of them will have beenconfirmed."I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and let the subject drop. I alwaysloved this Midnight Communion service as it is a service of celebrationand hope. At midnight the verger lit the last advent candle andChristmas day had begun. This was my second. The next moment Bob had leaned down, grabbed my wrist pulling me upprecariously, my feet wobbling and his strength the only thing keeping mefrom falling he continued, "Now, you're wearing a skirt, a pink pussyblouse around you have tits.. You almost always have cum on you and mostdays you smell like a piss pot. And, you think you are not a girl? Well,you'd better be a girl right now because if you're a fag I'll beat theshit out of you. What are you a girl or a faggot?" And with that his otherhand grabbed my hair and his face leaned in to hear my answer.Like a rag doll I didn't get my balance. I was shaking inside, aprimordial fear of the alpha male. "I'm, I'm a..." Yes, go on," Bob said as his grip tightened on my hair."I'm a girl," I heard myself say in the tone of defeat and subjugation."Good, so act like a girl and fix yourself. Put on some fresh lipstick andbrush some make-up over your red cheek."And with that Bob pushed me into my room letting me fall back against thebed and.
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