A month or two later he would move back in. During the periods of his absence my mother did not stay home and sulk. She spent a good deal of her evenings when he was gone bar hopping and going to parties and she usually had company in the person of her sister, my Aunt Margaret.The night that imprinted the sexual attitudes I would carry for the rest of my life started like most others. We were in a period of dad being gone. My mother and I had finished dinner and I was doing the dishes when Aunt Maggie called my mother and invited her to a party. As mom was going out the door she told me not to stay up too late since the next day was a school day. I did my homework, watched some TV and was in bed by ten. A noise woke me up and I saw from the bedside clock that it was a little after one in the morning. I heard more noises and I got up to see what they were. They were coming from the living room and I went to the head of the stairs and looked over the railing. Aunt Maggie was on her. It's a survival thing for her. She can see what she's doing and she hates to do it but she can't help it. She wants nothing more than to hug you and let you try to make it better. But right now, she can't." So what am I supposed to do?" Understand her. Don't feel sorry for her. Go ahead and be mad at the beasts who did this to her. Take care of her like you did last night with dinner. But don't take it out on her if she can't be there for you. She tries to be each day. She can't just yet. I'm not saying not to have feelings for her and not to be hurt. But try to keep from showing her how much it hurts. It is just going to make it that much tougher on Mary. And I think that's the last thing you want to do to her." It is, Mom. You know that." Yes, I do, Jackie. I love you. I know you love Mary. You've just got to give her some time and let her grow into this. And know that she loves you more than anything in this world."I felt less sorry for myself than I had for weeks as I walked.
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