After a while I asked her to dinner on a Friday night to celebrate a joint accomplishment at work. I also thought she might like some company. She never mentioned having any friends. It took some persuading but she let me drive her home instead of taking the bus. I waited outside her shabby apartment building while she changed clothes.We ate at a mid-scale chain restaurant. She commented that she’d almost always had to cook and rarely ate out. This was a treat. I saw her smile for the first time in a long while.The restaurant was adjacent to a nice mall so we walked and talked, finally settling on a bench by a fountain. We just sat quietly for a bit and I noticed tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.I put my arm around her and just hugged her. After a bit I asked gently, “What’s wrong?”She sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. “You are so nice to me. I’m not used to that.”I looked her in the eyes as I reacted, “But you had a husband!”“He didn’t treat me this nice for. I’ll be as careful as I can be out there. And I’ll never give up fighting if you won’t.” “Brad, I love you.” We had been saying those words for years now. I always meant every word, and I knew she did too. But I always wondered if she meant them the way I meant them. I could never figure out if she loved me just as a friend, or if there was more. “I love you too, Linda.” I wasn’t about to leave without letting her know. Her face was still cradled in my hands. I leaned in and kissed her lips, being sure to linger longer than our usual friendly pecks. I memorized every surface of her face with my hands and inhaled the scent of her hair one more time before pulling back. There were no more words between us as I stepped back from her doorstep and slowly turned to walk away. The next day, Linda wasn’t at the bus station when my family dropped me off. Part of me had hoped she would show up, to tell me that she loved me the same way. That would have been enough for me to turn back. But I.
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