Nothing ever changes, people use me and I do nothing to stop it.I am lonely.I put on a mask everyday from when I wake up until I go to sleep. Do I even know who I am anymore?Have I become one with the charade that is my life?No I haven't. I've just buried the real me under everyone else's needs, problems and worries. She is still in here somewhere, hiding, pretending everything will be fine as long as no one knows she is still here. No one liked her so she changed, she became who everyone wanted her to be.The friend, the protector, the supporter, the comedian, the chauffeur, the chef, the perfect daughter but no one actually asked HER who she wanted to be. They assumed I was the real me not who they wanted me to be, no wonder I have anger issues honey.Being all those things, with people pulling me in a million directions at once, I will eventually crack and breakdown.Acting like happy families, being the brave one, the strong one everyone turns to with their problems, they never ask. "Perfect! Hold it there, puss. How about pushing your knees apart about a foot?" Okay!" She parted her knees. Her belly pressed against the smooth grain of the crossbar.Ward quickly thrust one of the short stakes into the sand beside each of her knees."Can you rest your weight on your elbows?" he asked.Myra did so. She felt almost as if she were suspended on the crossbar, her ass upthrust toward the sun. Ward drove the remaining stakes into the sand, one next to each of her elbows, then caressed her asscheeks and smacked his lips."By God, that's going to be exactly right!" he exclaimed."Dog fashion!" whispered Myra. Neither she nor Leanne had experienced Soldier this way. If Bonnie did, there would be a degree of degradation that would erase all the tight-lipped superiority she had shown at the dog's previous triumphs."I'll bet Bonnie's squirming right now," remarked Ward. "She's not stupid; she knows we're going to get her under that dog sooner or later. And her belly is churning at.
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