I masturbated exclusively to gay/shemale/crossdresser videos. And so it went. Present day: My thoughts and actions are shifting a bit. I still consider myself a heterosexual. I still shave and wear women’s lingerie, underwear, etc. but the frequency is getting less compared to a few years ago. There’s nothing sexier than a woman, to me. Perhaps that’s why, if I could, I’d become a woman. But when I watch straight videos, I put myself in the place of the woman. I identify more with her. I’m not wishing I were that guy nailing her, but wishing I was her getting nailed. I’ve always been submissive and very eager to please. I’ve never had an encounter with another man. I’d love to some day and hope it will happen, but I would have to be fully dressed as a woman and play the part to its fullest. And it wouldn’t bother me if it was a manly man or a crossdresser—I just want to have a homosexual encounter and not be in control. I’m not getting any younger. So many years have passed me by.. She knows the effect she has on him, and hopes he doesn’t realise the effect he has on her. He can only stare at her longingly, his breathing heavier, as he watches her, and she tries to maintain some sort of confidence that isn’t real. The only guy she’s ever lapdanced for before, is John. And now, here she is, on his lap, pushing her breasts into his chest, as she blows softly over his left earlobe, and into his ear. She can hear him breathing onto her face, he is being a gentleman and not touching her, knowing she could grab the Bouncer at any moment if he did. She wants so desperately to kiss his earlobe, like she used to, as she ran her hands up and down his spine, but she knows she cant. She cant cross the line. She is happy that the loud music lessens the noise of her breathing, as she lets her hair run over his face and neck, and then sits back a little to look at him, as she straddles his body. Her corset wasn’t built for sitting! And her breasts are almost showing nipple.
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