I rarely ever went into the water, and if I ever did I only had to go back to my room and get one so I would never bring one with me. I was so nervous, for a moment I hesitated. But then, I closed my eyes and slowly took a deep breath. Once calmed, I looked at him and answered. “Sure, follow me” I told him… I think.I slowly stood up, grabbed my chair and my bottle of water, and began walking to the hotel. I had left my door open; a good thing since I was a shaking mess and would have probably dropped the key several times before opening it. Walking in on my way to the bathroom, I turned to the stranger and said, “Come in, I’ll get your towel”. As I turned toward the bathroom, I felt a chill running up my spine and a flash in my head as I noticed him standing at the room door with his eyes set on my lower back. When he saw me noticing his stare, he pulled up his blue eyes onto mine showing a mild grin on his face.Getting into the bathroom, my mind was racing. I may have been. What I did understand was that I was expected to stay late and join in the frantic pace of the coming weeks. I really didn’t mind. There was something fun and exciting about the chaos and the strong camaraderie that ensued. Having never been through one of these events, I was attracted to the strong bonding that grew stronger as the issue date approached. All this frenetic energy all around me happened to coalesce with what was happening to me at home. Joey’s obsessive interest in exhibiting me, his growing attention to my clothes, and new found insistence on my public sexuality, had come to produce profound (and welcomed) changes in me and how I felt about myself. I was so much more confident about my overall appearance, but especially about my body. It was such a strange transition. I had become a chrysalis, exchanging my old drab, figure-obscuring wardrobe for the clothes Joey approved of now. And I felt a corresponding change deep inside of me. A new and much more confident.
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