Lurch opened the door with his free mitt. `Gwendolynne' smiled, "You'll toss me off the porch, right, Lurch? I'm light enough, now, you might make a new record!" "No, Lurch. You are to treat her like a lady." "A lady?!" `Gwendolynne' cried indignantly. "I can't leave our property without *some *bruises and contusions!" But Lurch merely moved her past the threshold, and, closed the door in the girl-face. As `Gwendolynne' pounded the heavy front door, demanding to be damaged, Wednesday smiled, "And so the torture truly begins."+ + + The iron gate clanged shut behind him-her; the bar fell, and he-she was locked out of his own home. And to make matters worse, adding to his-her mood, it was bright, sunny and warm out. `Gwendolynne' looked first one way, then the other. "Which way to the carnival. I was never good with directions." The sun was getting lower in the sky. `Gwendolynne' decided to head away from the symbol of all that was not his life as an Addams. At least "he" would be in. I had a flash of insight as I often do. Most times I ignore it, but that day I didn't. I dialed EZ again."My god how lucky I am to be hearing from you twice in one day." he said."I am in the car though so what can I do for you." he asked."I just flashed on how much shit I have in this building. Can you send me someone to install a better door and locks on the windows?" I asked."Oscar isn't really a plumber, he is a handyman. He is honest though, and he stands behind his work. Plumbers don't, if they have to come back to fix their fuck up, they charge you a service call. That's why I use him," EZ explained."Right have him call then," I said."Okay now Wilson, how are we doing?" I asked, when I entered the office."So far about half a dozen girls, who probably won't go out with him. Crissy is one of them of course," he said."Is that what you are calling the daughter at the B&B now?" I asked."Yes it is so much easier that way. It what her girlfriends call her," Wilson said."That's a good.
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