"-*-The next few days were dull and dreary. I wasn't sleeping welland I saw many of the long hours of the night go by before sleepvisited me. I got up late at some stage each morning after tryingto make up for lost sleep. My appetite was poor and it was aneffort to eat anything. I usually only forced myself to eat whenJools encouraged me to. I sat around listlessly, watching daytimeTV but not actually seeing what was on. I couldn't even bringmyself to play the piano or guitar and that was very unusual.Previously when I had been low, music was always the retreat. Thehaven where I could seek sanctuary and gradually let myself healfrom whatever the insult was. Not this time. There were no moretears. I do not know if it is possible to exhaust the body'sstore of tears. That is the way I felt. There were no intenseburning emotions. Just a dull ache; a cold emptiness. This wasworse.Jools had done a fantastic job of erecting an invisible fencearound me. There was no talk of work nor were. I’ve cared for you from the beginning but I can’t commit myself to a relationship with you until I know the truth. You’re making me nuts.’ ‘You said you care for me. Do you mean it? If I’m putting my whole life on the line here I want to know it’s for the right man.’ ‘I liked you when we first met at the gas station. When you came to my party, I was so surprised. Then after meeting Kyle, I couldn’t picture you with him. It gave me doubts about what kind of person you might be. You only knew him for a month and moved in with him taking your kids to that asshole’s house. It put big doubts in my head of what kind of woman you were. ‘I didn’t know you knew my mom and dad that well and thought you might be taking advantage of their good heartedness. I was wrong because mom told me it was all her idea and that you help contribute to the household. ‘I saw you with your boss and thought he was your date. I was wrong again and apologized for it. I had a wonderful time with you and the kids.
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