It stood before her mind's eye as if it was happening, right there in the kitchen. But then she blinked and the image disappeared.No, she decided, I've done enough fantasizing for one day. It's time to get out and shake off my depression before I really end up in the loony bin. She did not think she was headed for a breakdown, but as she got up to wash the breakfast dishes she sensed that unless things changed, the pattern of her life that is, no good would come of her burgeoning anxieties and dissatisfaction with the tenor of her existence."Want to romp in the park today, Bixie?" she asked her dog when the last of the breakfast dishes had been washed and set in the drainer to dry.Bix yawned and stretched his legs, his carrot-shaped black tail rising up jauntily, wagging this way and that as he trotted obediently behind her, back into the bedroom where she picked out the clothes she would wear that afternoon.Less than an hour later found her standing at the top of what New Yorkers. Your back, my step - okay?" she explained with mock patience, a teacher with an awkward adolescent. The clop of a high heel on tile and then a careful knife in the back, a jerk and twist of overpowering load with bitter pain arriving like a leering accomplice a half heartbeat behind. I thought she would simply use me like the tread of a stair and pass on but instead she settled her stance, two feet planted, hands (I assumed) on the stubby arms of the stool. To take the uncompromising weight of a woman in high heels on naked flesh is the stuff of my waking dreams but the reality never fails to shock with an overload of raw sensation. It is like being clamped in a vice with teeth - or fangs, perhaps. The urge to writhe away from cause of the hurt is primal but the sense of privilege at actual contact with the adored thing overcomes everything. Absurdly, you want to impress her with your endurance; serve her well as a good, solid step - her plinth. At the same time you are so aware of.
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