When she was young, her friends had said you had to swallow it, or the boy would make fun of you. Of those, several had said it wasn't so bad. One had said she loved it. Later, when her friends were older, their counsel was that it was the best way to enslave a man and, by the way, render him harmless if you didn't want that thing in your pussy. Some of those girls had said they loved it too.Karen hoped she would love it as well. She'd never done this for Dave. It had been one of the few things she'd been able to deny him, despite his constant pleas that she service him in that way. Had he been a more considerate lover she might have acceded to his desire, but it had just felt wrong, back then. Now it felt right, and she made up her mind to make the best of it, whatever happened. She wanted to please him, and if that got a little icky, then that was something she'd just have to live with.He made a strangled sound and his hips lurched up off the blanket. A rush of warmth filled her. With your little head, down in your hand. Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening again. Your baby's gone, andyou're all alone and it looks like the end." "And you're back out on the street. and you're tryin' to remember. Howdo you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much fora stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man." "You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line. And I knowwhat's been on your mind. You're afraid it's all been wasted time." When I got home from the gravel pits, thank god my parents were alreadyin bed. I know I smelled like cigarettes and beer, and I wasn't walkingtoo straight. I switched on my radio and lay down on the bed. I stared atthe ceiling for a minute, then I made the drunken mistake of opening an oldwound. As Wasted Time by The Eagles drifted from my clock radio, I slowlypaged through one of my old journals. My name was written neatly in the margins3 different ways, with my ex boyfriends last.
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