No I can't do it here. There are too many people it would hurt so I have to stay until it's my time to go. I only want to kill myself, not end other peoples lives. Diary maybe you can't give me the answers but I wish someone could. I have never had a time in my life where I haven't had a good memory...But that's all it ever is; a memory. Nothing solid or right in front of me. I can remember times I had laughed and what not. Tried to be a good and faithful best friend. Tried to find a way to make things better. Maybe I just try too hard I mean, lord knows I try. But all I have are my memories. No one stays with me long, in fact, I've never been able to keep a friend for more then four years. I know that seems like a short time considering I'm not very old but I already feel the weight of this self loathing. I don't want it any more. Sorry Diary I have to cut it short. Someone’s knocking on my door. I have to divert attention to something, anything...As long as its not the sword in my. ” Penny told me.I thanked her and headed in, standing in the doorway to see my beautiful sister, chatting with three of her friends, an Asian girl, I remembered her name was Hanna, from the first time we met three months ago. Sweet girl, she was a bit shy when it came to boys though. Then there was Destiny, who was sitting on the kitchen counter, and enjoying a bag of low fat potato chips. And lastly, Heather. Heather was a snob, always thinking herself as a princess and expected everyone else to see her as such. I have no idea what my sister likes about her. She could be nice when she wanted to, but really, she was a bit too stuck up for my taste. “Hey, you ready?” I asked, causing all of them to turn and look at me, standing there.“James!” my sister exclaimed, pouncing on me from the marble counter top. I almost fell back from the surprise of her hug, but I planted my foot behind me quickly to hold the weight and I returned the energetic hug my sister gave. I had to say, she looked.
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