It took Greg a minute to realize the difference between the two cases was how he felt about them. He sat back in his seat and stared at the dashboard while shaking his head. Confused, he said, “So you are telling me that my wife was looking for some way to feel good about what was wrong.”“Exactly,” Jim said. He leaned forward and said, “You thought you were helping her to solve the problem when you were actually preventing her from solving the problem her way. She wanted you to help her understand why she was so upset so that she could stop being upset. You’re over there trying to change the situation.”“What in the hell was I supposed to do?” Greg asked.“You were supposed to help her explore her feelings,” Jim answered with a smile.“What does that mean?”“You are supposed to ask questions. Things like ... How does that make you feel? What makes you feel that way? What would you like to have happen?”“Oh, I’m no good at that kind of stuff,” Greg said with a definite whine in his voice.. They managed to find a house a short walk away and they stayed with us for a few weeks while the house was rewired and decorated before moving in. The new wiring included a burglar alarm, internet cabling in all rooms, external security CCTV and smoke detectors. After all the furniture had been moved in Ian and Marion had a grand opening and we went to look around the house. It had three bedrooms and one of them they called the guest room had deep pile carpet, an ensuite shower room and a restored Victorian iron bedstead. Jean was impressed and asked why we couldn’t have one. As we walked around the house it appeared that the only places that did not have a smoke detector were the main bathroom and Ian’s office which Jean thought was being over cautious. Ian was very proud of the control panel fitted in the kitchen which monitored the security cameras, the smoke detectors and internet connections. While we stood next to the panel Ian went around the house with a smoke stick to prove.
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