Since then I actually helped out orphanages a couple of times a year by doing work over there and I financially support them for the good work they do!Back in Holland a psychiatrist took over my treatment, to help me further to get my life back (at least the parts I wanted to continue and to get back my ambitions). I couldn't got back to my old job in the company I was working before the suicide attempt, because it went broke in the meanwhile... The company made a restart with the new owner TAG Heuer. But without me, because new owner officially didn't know me as an employee :-(So Evert-Jan again used his good connections and arranged a new job at an Europian Internet hosting company. I liked that even better, because it was a nice job (ICT Storage & Back-up expert) and caring colleagues. That helped for me, so I made good progress! But still my shrink wasn't too happy. She had the impression that I still lived my life with no real happiness…And she was right, life had no real. One afternoon I went into his bedroom to ask him if he could take me shopping the following day when I found him on his computer, he quickly flipped the screen hoping I had not seen him looking at porn but he was just too slow and I see naked women, “Mum” he cried out” “What, I needed to talk to you” I replied noticing a rather large bulge in his short, my mind raced of what it might look like hard, “You could have knocked” he replied going a little red, “Sorry sweet heart, I didn’t know you were looking at porn” I said giving him a knowing look, “Should have knocked” he said like he was hurt, I stood there letting him get it out of his system, it had not been the first time I have found him looking at porn and it probably won’t be the last, anyway, I really didn’t mind one bit, all boys and girls love looking at porn, I am no exception,“So, what was you looking at on the porn sites” I asked like it was a matter of fact, He looked at me then looked back at the screen, “this and that”.
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