He’d say we don’t know what we will find, and asking me what I’d do if we are surprised ... And he’d be right. But it is hard!.”She looks into my eyes. “Do you hate me, knowing I could have done that and didn’t?”“Her name was Holly Quint.”“What?”“The priestess, her name was Holly Quint. If you are going to make a decision like that, you should at least know their name.”I cannot condemn her. It was hard enough for me to accept Holly’s sacrifice. And I cannot accept that people are charged with saving me without also accepting that the princess has duties to her people to stay alive. But she’s right: it is hard. We hold each other as we cry.I eventually reach sufficient detachment that I can pay attention to the the notifications that have piled up.NotificationNew Skill: Soul Magic. The power to open up your soul and welcome others into it; the power to defend and shield your soul; and the power to reach out to the souls of others.At this level, you have minimal awareness of your soul. I was married to a very attractive Thai lady named Anna,who was quite demanding, and not so accepting of my innerdesires and wishes, which we both agreed to keep secretfrom our three children.All my life I had grown-up and lived with the strongfeeling that I was in the wrong body, that the Gods hadplayed a cruel joke on me by making me a boy, instead ofthe girl I knew was trapped within my soul and constantlyscreaming to get out. While I had always been heterosexualas I grew up, I did experiment with boys on a couple ofoccasions, with no success. I discovered that I was nothomosexual, but that realization did not remove the feelingsthat I should be female, it only added to the confusion.If I was convinced that I should be female, why wasn't Iattracted to boys?As I grew-up I also experimented with cross-dressing, anddiscovered that I was only truly happy when dressed in afull female outfit, from shoes and underwear to a flowingdress or skirt. The sensations I experienced when dressedas.
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