I really wanted to change so I told him I was done selling my work for profit. I would feel like a pussy if I told him the truth so i just said I lost inspiration and had a painters block. Richard was too damn charming, he flashed his cash at me but I held firm. At last he let out a sigh and shook his head at me. ‘Do I not take care of you? Haven’t I always been generous and all I ask for in return are some paintings?’ I still refused but he got up and ushered me into another room, His private movie theater at home. He sat me down in one of chairs, he got up in front and spoke..’You need inspiration dear boy?! I have just the thing, watch!’ He departed into the booth and I remained. A film rolled and too my shock of surprise it was the most god awful thing I have ever seen. To me at first it looked like a homemade video shot at a party, but then the people started killing themselves. Mass suicide, Was this a sick joke? It had to be fake. But the screams and blood looked so real. I. I'll tell my parents about us, about me being gay and in love, and we can go to Seattle or..."I felt dizzy and all I could do was hold onto her. Jane wasn't making real plans, she was just dreaming now, imagining some perfect world where she could finally be free. I shushed her gently and kissed her, rubbing my fingers slowly over her small clitoris as she gradually forgot what she was saying and began kissing me back. I didn't understand her, and I thought I never would, but I did believe her when she told me she loved me. I think I even loved her too at that moment, making love to Jane and sharing her dreams.You know, before I started having sex, I used to do lots of other stuff. I still did other stuff, I guess, but it didn't seem like it. I wondered if it was gonna be like this all the time from now on. I mean it sorta made sense, just thinking about sex all the time and doing it, since that was all anything else seemed to be about. Movies, magazines, TV shows, they were all.
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