“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” asked the defendant.“Oh no!” said the lawyer. “This judge is a stickler for ethical behaviour. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.”Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favour of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked.”“I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them” said the lawyer.“But I did send them” said the defendant.“What?! You did?”“Yes, that’s how we won the case.”“I don’t understand” said the lawyer.“It’s easy. I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card...”There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they. I don’t like that word, but... “I suppose. Somewhere in a number of times I lost count. Because it ain’t fucking if you’re in love.”“You’re serious about all this?”“Why wouldn’t I be?”“You could be, like ‘I made this HUGE mistake’ and now you’re tryin’ to cover up for it.”“Bink, I would spend the rest of my life on a desert island with ‘im. Or right there in his house, me and him, for the rest of our lives.”“And if I moved in?”“I can’t see how that’d be a bad thing.”“Does he get all freaky when you mention me?”“Not at all. I think he’s, like, both of us were impossible to consider and now that I’m possible, so are you.”“And y’all, like, PLAYED with each other.”I told her about my first time. “After that, we played. A lot.”“God, I wanna play with ‘im. But like you said, I wanna make LOVE with ‘im. Especially make love.”“It’s the BEST. Like me and you, but with...”“Mmmm. That thing ... Uh, did you put ‘im in your mouth?”“You can’t help but do that. I mean, there it is, all sticky from.
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