Dale tells us about how he has this great job. He is traveling all the time and the money is great. He just bought a new truck. I reach over and take a third sip. The glass is almost empty.“Whoa. I’ll be right back.”He leaves and heads for the bar.“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Dusty hisses.“He’s a major creep!” Rachel adds.“And what’s with this high school shit?” Dusty adds.“It’s fun,” I say. I am just in a 'don’t give a fuck' mood and this game may get interesting. My friends want to leave but I refuse. Dale returns with a fresh drink and sits it down. I take another sip. “Let’s go,” Rachel says. Dusty stands up. I reach over and take a large gulp. “See you,” I say. The girls leave.Dale looks stricken. I lean over, take the pen from his shirt pocket and write my Kik handle on his hand. "DarkVanessa2004."“What’s this?”“It’s my Kik handle.”“What’s Kik?”“Look it up.” I leave and join the girls outside. On the way home, all they could talk about is Dale and how. I tell you this so maybe you'll understand how heartbroken I was when the news came: My wife had inoperable cancer. It was a few months that seemed like seconds and she was gone. "Until death do you part," as the minister said.I was without solace. Oh, work filled up my days, but the nights stretched on forever. Especially on weekends, when sleep wouldn't come.I tried reading books or watching TV, but I'd look around the house and break into tears when I saw something that reminded me of her. I had to get out, at least for a little while. But where? I'm a shy person. I wanted someplace where no one would talk to me. I would not bare my soul to strangers, just as I had never bared my body -- gosh, even through all the years of my marriage I don't think my wife ever saw my body completely uncovered; I always put the lights off first.A movie theater? Much too expensive these days. Walks in the park? Too dangerous.I began to ride the subways. One token and you can ride all night, and in.
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