Mal pulls his mouth from mine and finds his lips against my neck, vampiric in the way he nibbles at my flesh with his teeth, his kisses rough. He’s determined to leave his mark upon me, which is why I draw back to peel my shirt off my upper body. Mal laughs and pulls me to him, kissing my chest, licking playfully at my nipples until he takes a bite. It hurts a little but I like. Crave it. Grab his head and pull him closer to me. He growls beneath me. “I’ve slept in your bed every night,” I tell him, bending down to kiss his lips. “Take me there now.” His strongest arms lift me and we nearly stumble at his feet, which makes us giggle hard. Then he carries me, my arms around his neck as I kiss his ear, to his room. He tosses me down on his bed and climbs on top of me. His hands grabs my wrists and holds them above his head as he kisses my lips, bites my neck. He stops suddenly, pulls away. “No,” he says. “We can’t. This is wrong.” I sit up. I’ve never been harder in my life, or wanted. Yes, that’s what I’m hiding from. But it knows where I’m hiding. How did it find me here? I’ve done something bad, something horrible, haven’t I? I’ve fallen from a great height and I’m smashed against the rocks. I’m not alone though. I’ve taken someone down with me. I’m responsible. Dylan and Sasha. They love me and they hate me. I’ve done them both wrong. I don’t deserve them. I’ve hurt them or will disappoint them. I’ve taken everything they’ve offered and given nothing in return. How low is that? Burning. Why do my eyes hurt so much? It must be the tears. They keep coming and coming and they don’t stop. I thought water was supposed to extinguish fire, but it has the opposite affect on me. The water is burning me. Don’t! You don’t have to feel it. Slip away again, down into the hole. That’s it. Slide down. There’s nothing down there, nothing at all. Stay there forever. It’s better. Good…. There was a sound again, trying to get my attention. It was a familiar voice. The black hole.
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