No matter the question, no matter the doubts, no matter the "why am I" it always came back to how quickly Penny had spread her legs and given in to those two men. How could a faithful wife do that?I didn't get much done at work that day. I sat in my office and stared out the window and cursed the day that I'd heard the guys talking about Steve and Marsha. I thought about my marriage and Penny. I thought about her final comment when I left the bedroom about working out the details of the separation. I didn't want a separation! I loved her. There had been some major changes for both of us over the last several months, but none of that made me love her any less. Granted, I was pretty fucked up in the head right then what with all the suspiciousness that the previous night had generated and I wasn't sure how I would take it if I found out for sure that she was cheating on me, but separation followed by a divorce was not an option for me. I loved Penny and I would find some way to work. What was with me tonight? I got up and brought the rope to him. My cheeks were burning and I couldn’t look at him. He had me hold my hands out and he wrapped the rope twice around my wrists and then looped it the other way between my hands and forearms and knotted it tight. As the rope tightened on my wrists, I tensed up. I had never done this, and I didn’t know him, really. He paused and with the tip of one finger lifted my chin. “Listen, Emanuel,” he said looking into my eyes, “You are safe. I am a good guy, and nothing bad is going to happen tonight. If you want to stop, or are feeling uncomfortable or whatever, you tell me. I will stop and untie you and we can do something else. You tell me.”I nodded and said OK. He walked behind me and took the end of the rope and pulled my hands up over behind my head. He looped the rope under my arm, then around the back of my neck, under the other arm. The rope was soft and maybe an inch thick. He knotted it there, and my arms framed my head,.
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