Oh, it was not that he was a revolutionary or wanted to overthrow the system or did the opposite of what people expected, just to make an impact; it was simply that, when his actions disagreed with what was accepted or normal, he had no problem going his own way. He thought out his consequences, made his decisions, knew what was best for him, and stuck to it. Jane appreciated that: she was much the same way. On the occasions when their opinions of 'the right way' conflicted, they would talk it out in a respectful manner, explaining their viewpoints and deciding jointly. For instance, Hugh felt that it was important to experience sex with a woman before marrying her, as part of the general compatibility testing that was part-and-parcel of the courtship process. Jane, who had had sex with a man who had no intention of being with her for the rest of his life, never wanted to do so again—though, of course, there were many other things they could do together in the meantime.And do them. She caught me a time or two and, needless to say, went through the roof. It put a great strain on our relationship, and she felt betrayed. That is, until one evening in bed she indicated that she wouldn’t mind it on occasion if I needed to fantasize about a woman. Not anyone we knew, but someone who would not be a realistic fantasy, like a movie star or entertainer (at the time, she knew I was awfully hot for Madonna). She also revealed that on occasion she would fantasize about past boyfriends. Wow! That was a revelation. But, it turned me on to think of her dreaming of another man. That night (we were out of town spending the night at a friends house), I massaged her clit to orgasm as she fantasized about a former boyfriend. After her orgasm, I stroked myself to orgasm and imagined, not myself with Madonna, but my wife with her boyfriend! This incident, and similar ones that would follow, opened the door to my revealing to her my desires to be dominated. Rather than tell her.
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