'A light bulb flashed above the villains head. It appeared that some random idiot nearby had flicked a switch on the adjacent wall. 'A weakness!' he roared, 'You were silly to try and hide it from me my arch-nemesis! I shall pound your fingernails until you plead for mercy! Ahahaha! Come hither, I shall destroy you at once!'The villain charged at the buxom blonde, stumbling over all the rubbish cans along the way until he slipped on a greasy banana peel. 'Foiled by a land mine once again!' he cursed as he landed flat on his back, groaning as his spine cracked into place. 'You're a clever girl, you know that? Planting a device in such an inconspicuous location and leading me on to my doom. You have demonstrated once again your outstanding talent. I know your ways now and will not fall victim to any more of your inventive strategies! Aahaha!'The woman turned a blind eye to the villain and started putting on makeup. The villain jumped to his feet in surprise. 'Camouflage! Such desperate. It was emasculating and embarrassing. These clothes: constraining. These shoes: awkward. And the role I played? Flirty and demure, all the soft touches and veiled glances and glossy smiles? Pathetic. But for all that--God, between Harry and beating up on Larry I'd had more fun tonight than in ages. After nearly two weeks of pretending I was amazed at how... comfortable, I'd become in the role.My head erupted with sudden and piercing pain. With a soft gasp I almost collapsed to the floor. Wincing, I steadied myself against the wall. Through bleary eyes I saw my hand against the soft beige, those delicate fingers spread for support, the carefully shaped nails, red vibrant as blood... pounding in my head and ears, a sound like pouring sand, deafening. What the hell? What the... hell was I doing, shit, I'm a fucking guy! What the hell was I doing, getting all prettied up and mincing about like some goddamn....With a deep, shuddering breath I settled myself. The throbbing across my.
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