’ she said hesitantly. ‘Mom?’ ‘Yes, sweetheart. What is it?’ I encouraged. She paused and bit her lip, trying to get the words out. I sat silently, waiting. ‘Mom . . .’ Then it came out in a rush. ‘I don’t know if I want a tutor!’ ‘What?’ I said, stunned. ‘Mom, it’s just that . . .Well, I don’t think I want a tutor. I don’t think I even want to be a goddess. ‘I don’t like being different from my friends. They all think I don’t have a dad, because I can’t tell them mine’s an angel that’s invisible to people. And, not all of them have dads, so it’s not like I’m a total freak, or anything, but I’m just tired of having to hide my home life and pretend to be like them, and make up a job for you ‘cuz they wouldn’t understand what you do, and . . . ‘Maybe I don’t want to be a goddess when I grow up. Maybe I want to be a mountain climber, or a veterinarian, or a . . . dentist! Maybe I’d like to decide that for myself and not have you and Daddy just assuming what I’m going to be!’ I swallowed. Paulina paused though, looking again at her hand. It now read just: 'DISCIPLINE FIRST'.The feeling that had stirred in Paulina when Ben had looked at her stirred again. Maybe she did need help... guidance... Whatever happened she needed to talk to him again, just to know, to make sure. Paulina fell back onto her pillow and shut her eyes, sleep came to her at last.When Ben returned home about lunchtime, he found his Mother sorting clothes into binbags at the top of the landing. Inside Ben was quite nervous. His outburst yesterday had been fevered and angry and he wasn't sure how Paulina would have reacted. Outside he knew he had to maintain the look of superiority, he had to remember he was holding all the cards right now."Having a clear out?" he called upstairs."What does it look like?"Ben walked up the stairs towards the bags. Stopping in front of Paulina who was bent over a sack holding a cardigan. Their eyes met."You really upset me yesterday."A wave of guilt surfaced in Ben's.
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