I’ve had a couple of bad experiences in the past – in my first marriage and in the business side of my life, so I’ve recently taken to automatically checking people out. Call me paranoid if you want.”Amber thought for a moment. “I’m glad you did that in a way. I don’t want to suddenly present you with some unpleasant surprise that would make you drop me like a hot potato.”“I wouldn’t do that until we at least had a chance to try to work through whatever issue there was.” Mike paused and then held both of Amber’s hands in his, “Amber, I love you. I’m not going to suddenly kick you to the curb. That’s not the way I am. I can be tough in business, but I’m hoping you’ll find me a pushover in my relationship with you.” He kissed her very tenderly.The kiss smoldered, and soon they each made small tentative explorations of the other’s lips with their tongues. As their kisses deepened, and oral fluids were more openly swapped, their hands came into play: Mike’s hands brushed and cupped. I walked back outside and blinked my eyes and waited for them to become adjusted to the bright sunlight. It seemed so wrong, so terribly wrong that the sun would shine that bright and for the birds to sing so sweet and happy on this day that held so much sadness for me.I resented the ordinariness of it all. To me it would have been much more fitting if the day had been gloomy, with dark clouds hanging heavy in the sky and no birds sang as the world mourned the passing of my loved one. However, it was not meant to be. Instead, the world didn't notice she was gone, dead now always and forever. Again, Sarah had moved so far, far out of my reach.A nasal, raucous voice grated on my ears and sent shudders down my back. "I win and you lose. She was still mine at the end." Charlie Potts, the not too sorrowful, newly made widower gloated at his imagined "winning." His nasal rasping voice continued to grate on me as he added, "You think I didn't know about you and her? Hell boy, I had her.
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