” I answered, not thinking that it could be too dangerous.“Where do I find you?” Her steady, direct gaze was a little unsettling.“Room B07 in the Facilities Department.”“Okay.” She turned back and then was gone as soon as she had been served.I didn’t think anything more about it. The day wore on, an endless succession of meetings and departmental issues that a senior Manager has to deal with in a quite large college in the centre of London. In fact, the episode passed from memory over the next few days, it wasn’t until nearly a week later that the memory came back suddenly.A knock at the door had me calling for the person to enter. I was deeply engrossed in some architecture drawings, trying to work out the logistics of room moves during the summer break. She coughed, one of those hello, I’m here coughs. I looked up, but didn’t recognise her, my only previous sight had been the profile of her face as she spoke to me and of course, the exposed part of her back.“Can I help you?”“You. The divorce had nearly run its six weeks, and now he had come at the eleventh hour to confuse things. She saw him flinch at her cold abruptness and after a brief sense of satisfaction she felt guilty.“Not very kind or welcoming, Claire.” His voice still had a touch of that superior reproving tone as if talking to a child.“I don’t feel ‘welcoming’. I wrote letters to you and got no reply. I invited you for Christmas and you made no answer. So I simply want to know what you suddenly want now. Then you can go.”“So you’ve moved on. You’re with John now are you? Living in sin?”His tone this time surprised her: it wasn’t censorious, judgemental or resentful, but resigned and weary. For the first time she saw how gaunt he was, and she felt doubly guilty at that.“I’m sorry, Peter, but you provoke me,” she said. “And no, I haven’t ‘moved on’ as you put it. I am living here but I’m not, as you imply, ‘with’ him. I see you’re still sitting in judgement over me. It won’t wash with me any more:.
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