Fir maine Reema ko phone kiya to pata chala ki wo night show movie dekhne gayi hai aur aaj raat apne bhai ke ghar hi rukegi. Mai relax ho gaya. Maine ye baat Alpana ko bata diya. Maine uski aankhon me azeeb si chamak dekhi. Humane khana khaya aur fir hum sath me movie dekhne lage. Tabhi uske husband ka phone aya. Mai uske sath sun raha tha. Kuch baten dono ne ki. Fir Anil ne pooncha kya wo akeli hai? Ajj Ashok aya ya phone kiya? Alpana ne without hesitation keh diya “nahi wo khud bhi nahi aaye aur na hi phone kiya.” Anil ne kaha “Azeeb aadami hai maine use kaha tha ki khabar lete rahe, khair tum daro mat mai 3 din baad aa raha hoon “ aur usne kuch kiss diye aur bye kaha. Maine Alpana se pooncha tumne jhooth kyu kaha. Usne meri taraf shararat se dekha aur kaha bas aise hi.. Mai uske kareeb gaya aur uske honto par ungli feri. Usne kuch kaha nahi. Maine ungli uske honto ke andar daal di. Usne thoda munh khola aur ungli andar le li. Ab maine use jhapat ke pakda aur uske honto par ek. The frustration. It already feels weak and submissive, all painted like a girl, dressed in its stockings and girlie things... but locking away its misallocated make genitalia amplifies its sense of submission and weakness many times. It feels impotent, helpless, pathetic. It desperately wants to relieve itself. But not only dies that make a mess of its pretty panties and stockings, it purges all of its girlie transvestite urges for a brief moment of ecstasy. When it has finished it sees itself not as the sexy girlie it has conjured for itself, but as a bizarre young male in stockings and women’s underwear. Without that arousal it derives from its effeminacy and the girlie sensations of its pretty girlie clothes, it feels ashamed and filled with self-loathing. For, at the most, a few short hours it is able to delude itself, again, that it is a regular boy. But it’s not. The urge to dress up in stockings, pretty lingerie, high heels, skirts and to paint its face and nails will be back.
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