"I'm ashamed to admit it. But, at the time, the reward money interested me much more than Lancelot. After all. The rent for my one-bedroom/bathroom apartment wasn't cheap, and I had bills and student loans to pay off. A little extra grocery money wouldn't have hurt, either.At the bottom of the page was a local phone-number, and the words - 'Ask for Curtis Hopkins'.At that point, I had made up my mind. I was going to claim the Hopkins' reward for myself. Now, I only had to worry about the second problem."How do I get a hold of Lancelot?"While pondering the question, I suddenly recalled an old saying my late Granny used to use all the time."The quickest path to a man's heart is always through his stomach."I laughed at the memory of her saying that, and at the memory of my Grandpop's embarrassed groans when she did. Granny always claimed that Grandpop found her skills in the kitchen more attractive than the ones she used in the bedroom.So, I figured, what works on a human male could. His face burned again. He walked in a hurry to the car. Ethan's mom dumped the bag in his lap, started the car, put it in gear, then put it back in park."Do you know how to use those?" she said, with a nod to the bag in his lap.Ethan looked down at it. The paper bag crinkled. He stayed very still, afraid to move, as if it was some radioactive device."Uh, not really," he said.Mom's hands held the steering wheel, her fingers drumming on the rim. She let out another deep sigh."Ok, I'm gonna show you, but you have to promise me you'll use them, ok?" Uh, ok, I guess," Ethan said.Mom snatched the bag from his lap, removed the box and ripped it open."It's really pretty simple. You have to do this before you actually ... actually have sex, you understand?"Ethan shook his head."Ok, well, let's say you're out with a girl and you like her and you both decide that ... that you're gonna have sex, ok?" Ok," Ethan said. He imagined himself with Iris, and in his mind saw her bare ass when she pulled.
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