I decided then that it wasn't a good ideato get my large bust gyrating like that. Apart from anything else, ithurt! Whether I liked it or not, I had little option but to behave andmove in a ladylike fashion."And then what?"I was thinking ahead and wondering how they could convert me back tosomething slightly more masculine. I was fairly certain that it wouldinvolve some surgery and probably some long term medication but that Iwould happily accept."Well, we still have to see how you end up. Once you have hopefullystabilised, then we can assess what we can do next to help you. In themeantime you will have to carry on as is, I'm afraid. We will pay allyour clothing bills and you'll keep an allowance covering all your otherincidental expenses for as long as necessary."I suppose, if I had been so inclined in the first place and had beentransgender or trans-sexual or a transvestite to start with, I would havebeen happily milking the fund for everything I could get, but that wasn'tthe case.. Anyway, I had some people talk a lot of shit about me. I had a couplepeople that I barely knew say really nice things. And I even had oneguy ask me out, which I thought was pretty courageous because I was apretty polarizing person. I said no thanks, but I definitelyappreciated it.Part of my problem stems from me withdrawing into myself at work. Iwas pretty outgoing for a time. Once I started hooking though I slowlyretreated into my own world. I'm not sure why that was, but ithappened. And then by the time I met Ryan and found some temporarystability I was already too far gone. I was the quiet, androgynousperson at work. An outcast. Then I had my surgeries and while my bodycertainly took on the shape of a very outgoing girl, I was gun-shy todo anything about it at the office. No matter how bad I wanted to, Icouldn't be a sex bomb. It would have made things worse. Besides, Ihad a boyfriend. I wasn't looking for any male attention.But I managed to keep my job and my body.
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