Can you imagine what I felt like. I mean I was making out with Nikki, and my mother walks in. I am half naked, Nikki is topless. We are on my bed, and we were home alone. I knew I was in deep shit. However, I have this bad habit of talking back to everyone.So like an idiot I said to my mother "geez mom we weren't having sex, we were just kissing and touching each other a little, its not like I am you and dad, and having sex every waking moment"She just looked at me with an evil stare, however, like I said, I may be a genius, but I definitely don't know when to shut up.I went on to say "look we just got a little carried away, we aren't having sex okay"Then Nikki spoke up saying "Malcolm was just touching me, I don't plan on having sex until I get married."However what my mother Lois said next completely shocked me. She said " you mean he was just touching your breasts and that's why you screamed?"Shit, I just realized my mom had been home for a few minutes now, and now she is asking. 'Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'A: 'Yes sir, we do!'Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'A: 'Yes, sir.'Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.I sometimes worry about the way you think!The guys at the golf course asked meto name an actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators.I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.What A.
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