They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean. 349.We had the Twins in the first round of the ALCS. The AL Central champions, the White Sox, were set to go against Seattle.I knew Paul Warren was searching everywhere for some kind of statistical argument to explain why we should be going into the Divisional playoffs scared to death of the Minnesota Twins. It was Paul's way. He'd keep looking up numbers until he found something to hang his hat on, and then use it in what he hoped was a rousing pep talk. But it was hard going for him. We had a solid edge in the season series played against all three of the clubs that were in the playoffs with us.That was no guarantee of anything, and we all knew it. But it sure made it tough for Paul Warren to speechify about complacency and overconfidence, and to back it up with his usual array of arcane statistics.We swept the poor ol' Twins. Baltimore sportswriters reminded everyone of all the times -- back in the late 60s and 70s, that Oriole clubs had done the same thing -- sent Minnesota fans.
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