Sir gripped Bendix's shaft and felt it throb. “Hmmm, “ he mused. “How long do you think you an last? Twenty minutes? An hour? Days?”Bendix already felt like he was going to cum at any moment. Sir knew and practiced the most agonizing teases and pleasuring. He was willingly surrendering all his senses, all his desires.“As long as I can, Sir,” he finally answered. His cock and balls felt like they were pumped to the maximum he could stand. He quivered at Sir's every strke, every touch. “If you think so,” Sir chuckled.Sir yanked at the leash, pulling Bendix to his knees. Sir stroked Bendix's pale face.“If you perform properly and are a quick learner of my pleasures, you may actually be rewarded with a good collar. Something with buckles and padlocks, hmmm? But for now...”It was a playtime collar – black leather with snap closures and a small D-ring in front, but...to Bendix, it was Sir's collar. He felt weak-kneed as Sir put the strap around his neck and clicked it shut. . I can barely sleep during the day. The restless feeling of impending destiny keeps me pacing, waiting for the door or window, or whatever the fuck… Waiting for opportunity to come and sweep me up, take me away. Bored intensity. I sometimes wonder if it would be more interesting to be insane. At least then I’d have company, real or imagined. I’m up pacing, now, and that’s how I get myself going. Move the legs, work the muscles, try to shake the feeling that I’m wading in oatmeal. I used to feel incomplete if I didn’t get nine or ten hours of sleep. Now I’m lucky to clear six and I wonder if that’s my problem. My dad said it’s because I’m getting older. I think it’s because my brain is tired of rehashing my problems in my dreams. Let’s talk about nightmares – I used to have one a year. Now I have three a week. I don’t wake up in cold sweats, or screaming, just with a vague sense of unease, as if there’s someone standing over me, in the dark, and even though I can’t see them, I know.
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