We were all pretty buzzed, so I was just blaming it on the booze… Then it happened. Johnny told Dave he could crash on our couch. If only he knew what was going on all night. I instantly started to panic, and got nervous. I mean, I let him grab my ass all night, and now he’s staying with us. Well, Johnny was hammered, and passed out in the Uber on the way back home. We got him in the house and I told Dave I would be right back out with a pillow and blanket. I got John in bed, made sure he was asleep, And figured I would tease Dave a bit more… but I diddnt think I would hook up with him. So i changed into some booty shorts and one of Johns T-shirt’s, with no bra. I walked out to the living room, and started making the couch a bed for Dave. I bent over , with my ass cheeks hanging out , right in front of him. He then asked if I want to hang out a bit longer and have one more beer with him. I was still turned on and figured why not. Let him flirt with me, get me all bothered, and I would. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon returning home he tells his wife about them. “Olympic condoms?” she replies: “What makes them so special?” The man says: “Well, there are three colours - gold, silver and bronze.” “What colour are you going to wear tonight? “She asks wearily. “Gold of course, “says the man proudly. The wife gives him a withering look and says: “What about silver? It’d be nice if you tried coming second for a change.”A sausage factory owner was showing his arrogant son around and try as he might he found it impossible to impress him. As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son merely replied: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you feed in sausages and produce a pig.” The furious father thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”A young.
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