’ ‘Oh, OK. I got the idea of culinary delights from one of my teen angel experiences. My first real boyfriend was like 16 and I was 15. He had a car and when he picked me up he would never come to the door, just beep in the driveway. The only place this dude ever took me was on a ride down some deserted road where he would feel my tits and whine until I jerked him off. ‘When this asshole dropped me off at home he would order me to go make him a sandwich. ‘What, am I your waitress and fucking slave?’ I spat at him as I got out of his car on our final date. I simply had enough of this crap but I did make him one last sandwich, with Alpo. You should have seen the look on his face as he chewed up that first bite. It was worth the smack he gave me that ended our relationship. ‘The dude never would have know what it was exactly but he asked, ‘What the hell is this?’ I could have said a new variety of Spam but I burst out laughing and told him, ‘You are what you eat, dog breath. That’s dog. . There, in theCathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Plymouth and he asked a nearby Vicar what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.'O.K., thank you ma'am, ' said the American.He then travelled to Torquay, Paignton, Exmouth,Tiverton and Brixham. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leavingDevon decided to travel to Cornwall to see if theCornish had the same phone.He arrived in Truro, and again, in the Cathedral, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'The American was surprised so he asked the Bishop about the sign. 'Bishop, I've travelled all overDevon and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Devon the price was £10,000.
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