Bell's marina.I wasn't frustrated about starting at the bottom, again. Even though I'd worked my way through this stage once, there was no getting around having to do it again. No sense fighting with myself and no sense allowing it to affect my attitude.Now starting high school all over again did get me down. Try as I might, there was no way to look forward to insecure guys, trying to one up each other to get a girl's attention, crummy food in the cafeteria and untalented teachers attempting to put in their time until retirement. None of it appealed to me but the circumstances that saved me from dying in my Toyota landed me here and this was my life, so whining wouldn't change anything.Beth Ann talked a little about her new job and the people she'd met, briefly, the other day. She was excited to be starting over, away from Bruce, without the old baggage and I appreciated where she was coming from, as I was starting completely over, too. Listening to Beth Ann anticipating the new job,. ..hell, you need men in your life. You should be fucking all the hot men you meet, being wild and naughty as often as you can with whomever you want.” I just smiled at her, and said, "My kids have lost one parent; I need to focus on them so they do not lose another one." “Are you fucking crazy?” Terry shouted. “You have young adults, you do not have kids. They will be perfectly fine. They need to understand that Mom has her needs also.” The night ended with Terry telling me that we were going to have to get some of the other girls together and have a night out. I just smiled and said “Okay, sure,” knowing, like always, Terry will say things like that but never follow through, and we would never go out. As she left I sat there finishing my glass of wine. One thing did stick in my mind about what Terry had said; she was right, my kids are not kids, they are young adults and, well, I guess I do need to quit hovering. In doing so, I would have a substantial amount of time to begin to.
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