' Have you ever been in that situation?"It was now around 4 in the morning, and the catering crew was probably wondering where the hell I was. I couldn't give two shits less at this point.She looks at me pretty intensely. "We've been talking for almost 2 hours now. I think you're pretty cute. Are you at all attracted to me?"I said rather drunkenly, "Are you nuts? I think you're one of the most attractive women in Hollywood, and I'm sitting here talking to you. This doesn't happen to anyone like me! I couldn't have ever expected that this evening I'd cater a party and end up meeting you, let alone having a conversation with you." I feel like doing something crazy right now", she says. I break into what feels like a cold sweat and ask, "Like what?"she looks away to see if anyone is looking, and she suggests that we find a more secluded spot. "It's 'been a while.' You know what I mean? I spotted a bathroom down the hall. we could probably make our way there and no one would see. This. I may look better on the outside, but my emotions are still a mess. I’m completely drained. It’s not just about your sister, Karin, there are so many other things that I’m dealing with.”“I’ll listen if you want to tell me,” Karin said. “Please let me help you.”I considered whether I should open up to her. She was young, even younger than Sofia. Was it right to pour all the pent-up emotion out here, to her? On both my visits, Karin had offered support without asking for anything in return, simply by being by my side. Yes, she had twice offered herself to me, but it had been done in a subtle, loving way that asked for nothing.I struggled with the situation because every time I looked at Karin, I saw Birgit. When she spoke, I heard Birgit. When she touched me, I felt Birgit touch me. That was part of why I had sent her away — being with Karin needed to be about Karin, not about Birgit, and I couldn’t separate them.Now, Karin was offering to listen, to help. Sending her away.
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