Back then, while it was a fair sized city, it was still relatively safe for two young teen boys to take a city bus downtown to see movies. One week day we had just returned from one of those excursions. It had been a matinee, so we got back to my house around three o'clock. All of our respective parents worked, so none was home at that time of day.We played some records and games. Jack said, "This is boring. Where's Lucy?" Lucy was my eighteen year old sister. Jack had a huge crush on her."She left yesterday to spend the week with some friends at their place east of the mountains," I told him. "East of the mountains" meant the inland part of the state beyond the Cascade Mountains."Cool!" said Jack, lighting up. "Let's go snoop in her room!" I groaned. Jack always wanted to snoop Lucy's room. He loved going through her underwear drawer and feeling her silky panties and all that. Once he even found a pair of dirty panties in her hamper and went into ecstasy smelling them."Let's not," I. And then I knew what it took to release some of that tension. I tried multiple methods until I found a juvenile one that worked quite well for me. I would roll up my bedsheets, straddle them and position my clit right in the sweet spot where it would get attention. All I needed was my imagination. I'd go through it again and again in my head. Kissing him, laying him down, putting him in me, watching as he squirmed under me. Then, I would cum, the image would dissipate and, instead of full-on relief, I felt massive guilt. What would he think if he knew I did that kind of thing while thinking about him? Would he be disgusted? It was a constant cycle, almost every night. ecstasy then massive guilt.Just looking at his face when we would hang out together would bring on a tinge of guilt. Exactly what had I imagined that mouth doing the night before? Sometimes just holding his hand would turn me on. My imagination got away from me much too often. Then he would smile a warm, innocent smile.
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