Then the negotiating would begin. I felt that a new me was emerging, and for that, it was time to celebrate. We were sitting on the couch and sipping wine. The harder drinking was behind us and we had the lights dimmed. The mood was mellow, but I felt an undercurrent of expectation. We took a little trip down memory lane, to our freshman year in college. We laughed about how far I had come from being a straightlaced Catholic virgin thrown in with a WASP slut who had already had sex with a half-dozen boys and even a girl. We talked about how casual she was about nudity in our dorm room and how long it took me to be comfortable even being seen in my underwear by her. ‘Do you remember ‘fur checks’?’ ‘Yes, Cath, I remember them. I never got to give you one.’ ‘Well, I never wore a swimsuit that needed one.’ ‘It wasn’t just that. I used to be so jealous of you. Even if I had worn those granny one-piece suits that you used to wear, I was so bushy back then that I would need to shave just to. What? You knew? I had a suspicion, he repeated. And I tried all year to prove it. I also sort of tried, I dont know if you noticed, to give a message back? Er I dont know if you noticed or not, but I would always catch your eye and smile when I met you in the halls. I made a point of it. I used your answers as models for the class as much as possible. I was easy as hell marking you. He paused. And there was one class in February where I tried my damnedest to act like the world was ending, only when you were around. I tried to draw attention to myself, acting distraught. Did you happen to notice? As things turned out, I had noticed all of these things. Especially the day hed been completely out of his element. Id made the assumption, and I have no idea why, that his girlfriend had broken up with him. Slowly, I nodded. Good, he replied. Then Im not completely incompetent. That morning, the day I was sad, my girlfriend broke up with me. We had a fight, and she left. Want to know why?.
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