It would be cruel. You will treat her as chivalrously as youwould any female of her age and class, and never even hint that shewas once a boy."Another silence."I can do these things," he said. "You should know that I paid themother a generous sum for the child's support." Yes, and I know the amount," I replied. "I will not blame you. Lisaturned out well." Must you bring her into our house?" he said. "Can't she stay with hermother?" Her mother doesn't want her. I seem to be the only person who does." ~ ~ ~The next morning, I finished dressing in the boudoir, where Lisa wasworking on one of my nightdresses that had a bit of the hem hangingloose. I asked her to button up my blouse in back, and she did soquickly and neatly. "Excuse me, ma'am," she said, and fixed a curlthat had come loose.A thought flashed through my head: Lisa as my lady's maid.Why not? She was so much more graceful and dainty and less disaster-prone than Moira. She was already my dressmaker and was ladylikeenough. Not all the time, of course. But we fantasize about it until the fantasies aren't enough and then we have to experience it again. Something inside of us craves that sort of mild sexual abuse."I know you want to protect us. But that circus has left town and it ain't coming back. Once someone like me or Lisa or mom discovers this thing inside of us that craves being treated that way you can't just stop. And after all, isn't it better that you're there when we go? You wouldn't want us to go alone would you?"He sighed and said, "I knew that was going to be your response. I do understand. I've lived with and loved your mother for too many years not to understand. But you have to know that I would prefer you spent the day with your friend Connie than with Cal and his friends."I got up and kissed him. I said, "Well, at least we understand each other. I have to go get ready. Thanks, dad. I love you."He smiled a bit wanly and watched me leave the room. I heard mom ask him, "Doesn't she have.
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