" You have sons?" Yes, ages six and nine, and they're nothing like my three older girls." Couple of little hellions, are they?" I was amazed at how his tone hadgone from frigid to friendly."Oh definitely. If it weren't for Nathan--that's my husband--I don't knowhow I would control them." Consider yourself blessed." Oh, I'm very thankful for my husband." I glanced over at him. He wasstill praying."No, I mean your boys" How so?" Once again, I heard a sigh on the other end of the line andthen a pause."There are all different kinds of boys. Some are quiet or shy orsensitive or soft spoken; some are articulate or artistic; some areleaders; some are fearless and self-sacrificing. All these differentkinds of boys grow into different kinds of men. As a battalion commanderI've seen all kinds of them under the best and under the worst possibleconditions. They all have one thing in common; each seeks to distinguishhimself in some way. It may be in some tiny, ridiculous, or even crazyway, but. That so retain?d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses. My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix?d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company.
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