MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better.****RAISIN:A grape with a sunburn.****SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time.****SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.****TOOTHACHE:****The pain that drives you to extraction.****TOMORROW:One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.****YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed.****And MY Personal Favorite!WRINKLES:Something other people have, ****Similar to my character lines."Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." – Warren BuffettThat's my way of thinking!!!WisdomTom was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get -Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinson's.Better to spill half an ounce of your beer,than to forget where you put the damn thing!!This one is compliments of chuck...Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the minister's wife.Can you hold him in church for an hour after the services for me?"
Mike. On the fifth day of non-stop rain he had the photo session of a lifetime! The incessant downpour meant that poor Katie had forgotten what it was like to be dry.The weather temporarily improved one day and she was sleeping in the welcome if anaemic sun when a hand on her shoulder caused her to wake up. A tall, smartly dressed man, with a very concerned look on his face, was standing over her, holding an overnight bag in one hand."Miss O'Brien, how can I ever apologise enough for what you have suffered and for our failure to help? My name is Travers, the British Consul in this fine city! I was up country on diplomatic business when my clerk woke me at three in the morning to tell me about you - first any of us knew about it - and I got straight over. Here, young lady, you'd better get into these and SOMEONE UNLOCK THIS CHAIN NOW!!"The policewoman came scuttling out of the station and swiftly obeyed this man. From her chastened demeanour it was obvious that she was in a lot of trouble..
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