She hugged him and then stepped back, blinking. "What happened? Where's your arm?'Billy Fields patted the pinned up sleeve of his well-worn blue jacket with its faded crimson lapels. "Left it up in Pennsylvania. Careless, eh?" My lord. Come in. Come sit. Please tell me." She felt tears in her eyes, and her heart was beating madly. "Why didn't you write? Did you get my letters?" She pulled him down on the sofa and sat beside him, tossing his hat aside and holding his calloused hand, staring at his familiar face and noticing his blood-shot eyes. His hand felt like an ill-treated saddle, and he smelled of hay and sweat. Billy had bathed once, in a rainstorm, in the last four months and knew he harbored lice in his body hair. He killed some every day, pinching them with his fingernails or flicking them into thecampfire."How's your family, the dear sister and her new husband?" He was overjoyed to see the bubbling redhead, as usual excited by her excitement."Oh fine, fine, everybody's,. I pushed his shoulder in jest. I made a plan that day to really work on coming to terms with the fear I would be addicted to sex and the fear of intercourse itself. But, my coming around took a little too long as you already know. ******* Today… I fell to the bathroom floor and tucked my lovie in my underwear. I began grinding as usual, but my orgasm wouldn’t build. I was getting stimulation but I just couldn’t get there. I sat on the floor and threw my lovie in the corner. I guess this was time to face the music. My body didn’t want to feel any type of pleasure until I made amends with my sister. I washed my hands and went back to bed. ‘Are you okay, Sissy.’ ‘Yes, I am just nervous about what I’m about to say. So let me first apologize. I am very very sorry I kept this from you’, I paused briefly, took a deep breath and continued. ‘Jamie didn’t break it off with me the way you think. We were actually about to have sex and I got scared and said somethings to push him away. I later.
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