“I’ll take it,” he said only half jokingly.She didn’t know what to say as they headed back into the house to sit back down to their beers.They chatted some more about this and that and as they did her mind was racing. What if he did move in here? Well, number one that would mean an end to their ‘dating’ as it were. That would have to be clear. And it would be nice to have someone around. She had been thinking about getting a roommate, just to take some of the loneliness away with her son gone to school. While she didn’t need the money to live it would be nice to have some help with the rent. And it sounded like it would only be temporary, until he got a job with the police department and then he would move on.They talked about it some more and she said, “Well, you know if we did this it would change the dynamic of our relationship. We’d downshift into being friends,” she said.“Yeah. I guess you’re right,” he replied as if figuring that out for the first time.“Honestly, it would be. Made me draw my foot slowly up the doorframe behind me, knee pointing in his direction, which afforded a glimpse of my underwear from his position beneath the sink."Rebecca couldn't imagine acting like that for anyone. The things she'd done with Julian were all initiated by him. She'd never taken the reins, just taken whatever he gave. That thought triggered a memory. Then another. And another. Increasingly faster flashes of their times together raced through her mind until she froze. All of a sudden the stark reality of her one-sided relationship compared with the brazen act that Mallory was about to describe made Rebecca feel empty. A pang of guilt struck her chest, tightening inside, like it was all her fault. Like she'd selfishly driven Julian into the knickers of another woman by being all take and no give.The psychiatrist took an involuntary deep breath. Maybe he'd wanted someone stronger. Someone more domineering and confident. More of a risk-taker, like Lady Mallory, willing.
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