In the summer, I’d stop by her house once a week, mow the grass and pull weeds out of her flower beds. Occasionally, she’d ask me to move something heavy inside the house or to carry her groceries.Marilyn tried to insist that she could do the mowing and weeding so her grandmother didn’t need to pay someone. I could hear them arguing on the front porch one morning when I shut off the mower and started on the weeding.“I don’t pay Terry to do any of those tasks. He comes by and volunteers to do them. I just give him a little tip afterward to show I appreciate his caring. Every young man needs a little spending money now and then. You should know that since you date them so often.”“I only date a couple of times a week,” Marilyn protested. “Besides, a guy should have a regular job, not depend on tips. He doesn’t even have a car.”“Why, Marilyn! Are you suggesting he needs a car in order to date you? I can loan you mine if you’d like to take him out.”“Grandma! I wasn’t suggesting. I never thought much about it, butit did end up with me crying often because I felt helpless about theirbullying.I didn't feel girly at all, I wasn't attracted to boys and I wasn'teffeminate in my manners, but what I did feel was a great curiosity andattraction for everything feminine. I should clarify at this point that Ispent all my childhood and adolescence surrounded by women. In mygrandmother's house (also divorced since before I was born), my mother, myyounger sister and I lived together. Surely being in contact with womenand their intimate subjects constantly, and from a very young age,contributed to this fascination, respect and even idolatry for femininity.When I was eleven years old, my mother, sister and I separated from mygrandmother and moved to a new house in another neighborhood. That was asignificant moment in my life, not because of the move but because of theconsequences it had and the things it allowed me to experience.In order to support us my mother had to work.
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