It was, after all, gone ten in the morning, a bit late to be undressed. Especially as she would have had to be up for her children, take them to school, feed them and so on. I accepted her invitation to enter with my clipboard and prepared forms for various rooms.This small woman, just less than five foot with mousey hair and a small frame, offered me coffee, which she put on the table in the living room. The survey its self took no more than fifteen minutes. I was ready for the coffee and sat in her living room to talk her through the program and what to expect. I asked if she had any questions at the end of my prepared speech."Any chance I can choose the tiles in the bathroom?" She asked, her head cocked to one side and an enigmatic smile on her face.I told her that we only did diamond white. She sat opposite me in an armchair and damn! Her smile grew wider and her legs parted to show she had no underwear on. I had a grandstand view of her snatch."So no chance of a nice light blue. Sleep is the elusive angel of our lusts. We never get enough sleep. We never have enough men. Everyone laughs at us – the IRA, the RUC, the protestants, the Catholics. We never do anything right. We are too little too late. And now Riley is dying – this big 40-year-old man gutshot and I’m just a kid. It could have been me but it’s not and I don’t want to be gutshot either. Through and through in the upper arm maybe . . . a no-boner in the fleshy part of the thigh . . . perhaps a little side-shot – like a modern version of a Heidelberg saber scar. All honorable service. Riley won’t get a medal for this. We’re not fucking green berets with purple hearts flowing out of our asses. This is a hard army. You don’t get medals for nothing in this army. Riley didn’t do anything heroic and that’s the nub of us. We’re anti-heroes. We are anti-Gung Ho. The last thing we care about is heroism. All we do heroism-wise is drag a wounded comrade off the street. The rest is all fear. We crawl from.
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