You crush out your cigarette on the tiled wall and drop the butt where I lay sodden in a puddle of your piss.?You take care now sweetheart.?You say it with a sneer, of course, not letting your priestly mask down for even an instant, not even now that I'm dead, and can't see the real man behind the mask of the rapist-murderer. But I can't help but wonder if you don't, deep-down, feel even a little remorse for what you've done to me, half a thimble-full of pity, or is there nothing behind your mask. Is that my fatal mistake—that what I took for a mask of cold, hard, cruelty is not a mask at all?That behind it all is emptiness, like the cosmos behind the mask of ?god.?{Who is it that is talking?} Am I a ghost revisiting the past or am I dreaming of a future yet to be fulfilled?In other words, is this a scene I'm haunting or is it one I'm hoping for? Is there any difference? Perhaps the two possibilities in this case meet somewhere in the middle, where dreams become reality, where by. I expected to hear your sweet voice, but the room was silent. I felt around on the bed hoping to touch your foot, your leg, or any part of your body that I so longed for. Disappointedly, all I felt was the bedspread. I opened the curtains to let a little light in. I saw a note! "Baby: I've been here, but only to leave this paper. Baby, Please take off all of your clothes and sit in the desk chair. When I open the door, close your eyes until I tell you to open them. It may be a couple of minutes." My mind was racing. What will happen? Do I really care - I know She will be amazing, whatever it is. You didn't keep me in suspense long. I heard the door start to open; I closed my eyes. I could tell that you didn't turn on the lights, but I was turned on for sure! You whispered hello to me. I think I said hi. I can't remember. I do know that my cock grew harder with your presence. Soon, you said open your eyes and come over to the foot of the bed. Wow! I saw your finger nails glowing in.
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