A few weeks went by and I finally lost my virginity! Now don’t get ahead of the story, it was with a girl and wouldn’t you know it… on a night when I was expecting to have the room to myself, who should come through that door, Josh and Alex! That brought Josh and I to another awkward conversation. During which I finally gathered up the courage and told Josh I thought I might be gay. I told him I was having confusing and conflicting urges towards men and women and didn’t know what it meant. He told me about his own struggle to find himself and how hard it was to come out. He gave me a lot of good advice that day.Weeks went by where nothing changed for me. I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my mind. “What would it feel like? Would I like it? Does it hurt? What if I am gay?” All those questions ran through my head daily. I was tired of wondering and I wanted to find out.One night while Josh and I were both in the room working on school work, I broke the ice and stated chatting with. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Ooooooooh. Fuck it good." Then it was over and done with. We were both exhausted and wet. One thing I've learned was Cynthia never tires easily. Soon she'll be begging for a rematch and officially call it a day. We were both lying on our backs and staring at the ceiling catching our breaths. "Wow", I said, "that was good." "Hmmmmmmm, it was", she said, "I can't feel my legs." .
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