I continue to care forGeorge but I am unable to put my heart into my efforts. Whatever curseplagues this church, I fear I will not survive it.February 20, 19xxDear Diary,The memory of my late evenings continue to elude me, and my privates feelsuffering as if I am being tested by God Himself, which I may very wellbe. Lyn is gone, and Sister Carli is taking it comparatively well. Ibelieve that she, like myself, was expecting it. At this point, I expectGeorge to disappear as well in a day or two, yet I feel hollow. I feelguilty that I have little attachment to this poor cursed boy. Will Ifeel anything when he is gone? I fear that the answer is no. How have Icome to be so unfeeling towards another human being? These thoughtscontrast so sharply with the intensity that was the Lily's Path. To me,The Lily's Path seemed to be feeling itself, a gateway back to thesensation of liveliness that I fear is slowly disappearing from me.My sisters met without me this evening. I overheard. Barbara sensed his discomfort and said, "Its Ok honey. I guess I just thought that since you decided to stop here, and we usually don't stop here. Umm. I was thinking that maybe you wanted to try. Do you remember the last time we were here?"Marvin replied, "That was a long time ago."Barbara said, "I still remember. I could not say which room we were in or anything but I remember that we made love. We tried not to make any sound at all because the walls were thin. Trying to stay quiet made me laugh." We sure had some great times." Marvin replied wistfully.Barbara embraced her husband and fingered the buttons of his shirt. She got up and turned off the light. She sat by her husband and said, "Nothing could change the way I feel Marv. I still love you just as much and we can still have good times." She kissed him and he kissed her back reluctantly.Barbara usually went along with her husband's wishes and abstained from lovemaking, but she wanted him badly tonight. She was feeling close to.
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