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He created you to destroy Christian Morality. You’ve been incredibly influential in turning the best and the brightest of mankind against morality. Hitler was even a big fan of yours,’ I said. Superb-Man dropped me and started sobbing. ‘Oh, my god, it’s true. I remember it all now,’ he said through his tears. I reached in my pockets and dusted my hands with Kryptonite. And then I proceeded to give Superb-Man a bitch slapping. Once he was unconscious, I pulled out a copy of Nietzsche’s ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’, a book so heavy I could barely hold it. It only took a few well aimed blows to make sure Superb-Man would be in a wheel-chair for life. It wouldn’t do to kill a fellow commie. Now there was nobody to stop me from punishing the corporate board of Moneymaker Films for the countless hours of corny-action-torture I’d endured in movie theaters across the world. I simply walked into the thousand story building that was Moneymaker Films’ headquarters. I took an elevator the thousandth. One, a better way to handle jerks, because Mister Coogan won’t be the last one you’ll ever meet, and two, I strongly suggest you stop hanging around jerks. As for you, Mister Coogan, consider yourself lucky that Miss Reaper was wearing running shoes. You act like a jerk around a grown woman in spike heels and don’t be surprised if you need medical attention. Maybe you should stop being a jerk!”He sent us all home; detentions would begin on Thursday. As we left, I glanced over at Russ’ father, who was just shaking his head in disgust. I figured there was going to be some additional punishment back at the Coogan estate.Kelly managed to avoid laughing through dinner when Riley explained why she had detention. Afterward our daughter was sent packing, to work on her homework, while Kelly followed me into my study and sat down on my lap. “She really kicked him in the balls?”I nodded. “When we found him, he was sitting in the nurse’s office with an icepack in his lap.”“I think I need to.
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