“Are you worried about something? Did you break something while Daddy’s been busy?”I shook my head again. “No, Daddy. I was watching TV like a good girl”.“Hhmm…” Daddy paused a moment, unable to think of anything else to suggest. Then he said, “Did you go potty today?”More tears were running down my cheeks. “I can’t, Daddy. I push and push and nothing comes out”.He rubbed my back as I began to cry softly. “It’s alright, Honey. You just need a little help. Let’s go in the bathroom and clean out that bottom of yours”.Cradling me in his arms, he carried me down the hall to the bathroom. He stood me up on my feet and told me to get into the tub on hands and knees.Daddy reached under the sink to retrieve the enema bag and sat down beside the tub. Taking a container out, he scooped a blob of lubricant and spread it over my anus. Gently, he began to work the jelly around the pucker and then applied pressure to the opening. I moaned a little and tried not to cry. He continued to insert his. And Noel had worked hard, even to the end he was still up with the sunrise, out with the sheep, cutting the grass, keeping the fields ploughed and sown, and when he’d come home of an evening he was just too tired to keep the house as well, Renee had always done that job. And so he’d just carried on with his part and let the rest fall to rack and ruin around him for probably the last 15 odd years. I felt a deep sadness, wondering why none of us had noticed how bad it had gotten and I saw my uncle was thinking the same. This was no way to live. But then since Renee had died we’d always met in town, he’d claimed it was the only time he got out any more and that was probably true, but had he also been ashamed to let us see how far he’d fallen, how much he’d let himself get behind. And why had we not noticed? Even when we’d dropped him back he’d discouraged visitors, the dog didn’t like strangers, he had no milk, all the excuses he’d used to prevent us from seeing the state he’d gotten.
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