My tight stomach was out in the open for all to see. I rolled over onto my stomach for the fourth time as I looked at Wayne talking to a bunch of men at the bar."Excuse me," I heard as I stared at my husband."Taken," I said, holding my ring finger up."Oh, sorry," the man's voice said. I didn't even turn to see who it was; I am sure it was the silver string disappearing between my ass cheeks that we're making them come out of the woodwork."Ahem," someone said from behind me."Married," I said again, smiling as Wayne smiled obviously. They were watching some sporting event."Do you have to dress like that?" the voice said it was a woman's voice. "There are children here," she said.I sighed and slowly turned around to look at this bulbous woman standing in a one-piece with a towel as if she was hiding me from the world."Like what, exactly?" I said as I lowered my sunglasses."Like a whore," the lady said in barely a whisper."I prefer bimbo," I smiled back at her. "A whore would have worn. “Is your mummy home?” Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained “I have a delivery for her”. The child’s mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. “Mummmm!” she shrieked “come quick! It’s the stork!”A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. “ ... and to drink?” she asked. The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man’s lap when she stopped at the table. “Oh my God! I am so sorry!!”“That’s OK” the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin “but tell me, is this regular or decaf?” “Regular”she replied. “Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!”This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first”. Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left”. Patient: “OH.
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